Is this you?

You want to be generous and kind, yet find that you are giving yourself away. You end up saying yes to more than can or want to do.

Or, you find yourself participating in toxic interactions and wish you could rely on yourself to set a boundary.

Or, you want to be closer to others and find yourself feeling distant and disconnected regardless of your hope to be close. 

You are ready to get clear about how to yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. You want the tools to determine what really works for you. You want to trust yourself to navigate relationship decisions with skill and wisdom.

What is it all about?

Life-Serving Boundaries: MCD Relationship Competency 8

Having clarity about life-serving boundaries in relationships allows a greater sense of security and freedom. When you know what the boundaries are for you and others, you also know where you are free to play and grow together.

Setting life-serving boundaries means having clarity about what really serves life or meets needs and making a conscious decision about how you will relate to another or behave in a particular situation. To set life-serving boundaries, you need to be able to recognize and honor your own needs, speak clearly about them, understand the verbal and behavioral language of boundary setting, honor the needs of others without taking responsibility for them, and engage in healing work with regard to your experiences of boundary violations in the past.

Learning to set life-serving boundaries is a relationship competency that helps you embody an authentic life and live respectfully with others.

You can find many articles on life-serving boundaries in our archives. This one is a good place to start.

How it works

For each class we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation. I will present a particular concept and skill. Then you will practice the skill in a short structured exercise. You will hear questions and comments from previous participants both clarifying the material and debriefing exercises.

You will follow along with the video (60-90 minutes) and your handout. Some exercises you can do on your own and some are best done with another person.

As you take the course you can ask questions via email: [email protected]

While you are taking the course, you can also book a discounted session with an MCD Companion for one-on-one live support.

Thank you so much for your participation and dedicating your time and energy to this important work. We look forward to connecting.

Topics for the Series: 

Introduction to Boundaries

You will learn about six different types of boundaries and work with examples for each.  In structured exercises, you will have an opportunity to study how you set boundaries and organize priorities.  Specifically you will have an opportunity to notice how you may have systematically excluded certain needs from being met while favoring others.

Evaluating Boundaries

You will learn tools to evaluate the boundary that will best meet your needs and the needs of others in a variety of relationships such as with yourself, work, school, family, friends, and intimate partnership.  You will then practice ways to set the boundaries you want in those relationships.

Boundaries and Power

You will study power dynamics in experiential exercises. You will have the opportunity to study how you engage in “power over” or “power under” and make distinctions about how to maintain equitable power (“power with”) in personal relationships, hierarchies at work, and in community.  

Repairing Boundary Violations

Repairing boundary violations can happen in a variety of ways.  You will learn a variety of ways to approach repair depending on the boundary you want to set in a particular relationship. For example, repair looks very different in relationships in which you want to maintain healthy intimacy versus those in which you want to maintain healthy distance. 

Course curriculum

  • 1


    • Welcome! Download and Print this Handout for the Course

    • Getting the Most Out of Your Pre-Recorded Course

  • 2

    Week 1 - Introduction to Life-serving Boundaries, Introduction: Practical Strategies

    • Video from Week 1

  • 3

    Week 2 - Identifying Life-Serving Boundary Types, Evaluating Boundaries, Phrases that pause action

    • Video from Week 2 Part 1

    • Video from Week 2 Part 2

  • 4

    Week 3 - Setting a boundary in the moment, Introduction to Secure Differentiation, Enmeshment, & Disengagement

    • Video from Week 3

  • 5

    Week 4 - Introduction to Power dynamics, Physicalizing Power dynamics

    • Video from Week 4

Be supported in your learning

  • Weekly Reminders

    Each week, you will get an email reminder encouraging you to login and complete content for the course. You have the option to manage this feature.

  • Learning Schedule

    If you get behind, you have an extra four weeks to catch up. This format helps support you in your commitment to stay engaged throughout the duration of the course.

  • Live One-on-One Connection

    Private sessions with Wise Heart's MCD Companions are offered to you at a discount while you are enrolled in the course.

  • Get Questions Answered

    If you run into questions during the course, you can send us an email at [email protected]