Is this you?

You are dedicated to living an authentic life with compassion for yourself and others.  You understand that living from authenticity and compassion requires mindfulness as well as practical skills.  You are willing to practice mindfulness and relationship skills in a safe environment that includes vulnerability and self-reflection.  You are ready for support in making specific and doable requests of yourself and others and entering into Needs-based negotiation.

What is it all about?

Mindful Compassionate Dialogue naturally supports you in creating the relationships you want by integrating the wisdom and skills of three powerful modalities:  Hakomi, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Mindfulness.

Hakomi offers clarity about reactivity and healing, NVC offers a means for self-responsibility, skillful communication, and agency, and Mindfulness adds the stable attention and the clear focus needed to continuously refine your understanding and skills.

MCD is a system meant to provide access to agency, compassion, and wisdom through practice with 12 Relationship Competencies, nine foundations, and the intention to connect. Making requests is a part of a number of different competencies such as Competency 3 - Honest Expression,  Competency 4 - Self Empathy, Competency 7 - Needs-based Negotiation, Competency 8 -  Life-serving Boundaries, and more. For this one-day workshop we will focus on the skill of making requests in a variety of situations.

What to expect

For each class we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation. I will present a particular concept and skill. Then you will practice the skill in a short structured exercise. You will hear questions and comments from previous participants both clarifying the material and debriefing exercises.

You will follow along with the video (60-90 minutes) and your handout. Some exercises you can do on your own and some are best done with another person.

As you take the course you can ask questions via email:

While you are taking the course, you can also book discounted sessions with an MCD Companion for one-on-one live support.

Thank you so much for your participation and dedicating your time and energy to this important work. We look forward to connecting.

Topics for the Series: 

We will approach the practice of making requests from the inside out and the outside in. Like many important skills making requests requires internal resources as well as information and practice.

Internal Resources include:

  • The ability to identify your needs as they arise.

  • The ability to consider and guess other’s needs.

  • Accessing a sense of trust that your needs matter equally with others’ needs

  • Accessing a sense of trust that your needs are inherently valid

  • Accessing a sense of trust that your needs can be met in harmony with the needs of others

  • Accessing a sense of trust that consideration and collaboration with others is the best strategy for meeting your needs.

  • Cultivating trust in multiple strategies to meet a single need.

External Resources (information and practice) include:

  • Learning the difference between a wishes/hopes, demands, and requests

  • Learning the words and phrases that support Needs-based negotiation

  • Learning specific tools to manage reactivity such as fear of rejection, fear of interdependency, and beliefs that you have to do it on your own

  • Learning how to break down overarching hopes or goals into small requests. Examples might include: “I would like recognition for the years I worked”, “I would like more presence”, “I want my kids to understand what I went through in the divorce”, “I would like to ask myself to be more loving”, “I would like to ask myself to be less reactive”, “I want my partner to be more understanding,'' etc.

  • Being exposed to lots and lots of little requests; the words, phrases, and syntax

  • Receiving validation and support from others that it’s okay to ask for what you need

Presentations and exercises will weave together these topics.

Course curriculum

  • 1


    • Welcome! Download and Print this Handout for the Course

    • Getting the Most Out of Your Pre-Recorded Course

  • 2

    Week 1 - Introduction to Requests

    • Week 1 Video

  • 3

    Week 2 - Understanding Requests

    • Week 2 Video

  • 4

    Week 3 - Beginning Practice

    • Week 3 Video

  • 5

    Week 4 - Common Requests & Security

    • Week 4 Video

  • 6

    Week 5 - Making Requests from Security

    • Week 5 Video

  • 7

    Week 6 - Needs-based Negotiation

    • Week 6 Video

  • 8

    Week 7 - Translating Vague Wishes into Requests

    • Week 7 Video

  • 9

    Week 8 - Fear of Rejection and Anger

    • Week 8 Video

Be supported in your learning

  • Weekly Reminders

    Each week, you will get an email reminder encouraging you to login and complete content for the course. You have the option to manage this feature.

  • Learning Schedule

    If you get behind, you have an extra eight weeks to catch up. This format helps support you in your commitment to stay engaged throughout the duration of the course.

  • Live One-on-One Connection

    Private sessions with Wise Heart's MCD Companions are offered to you at a discount while you are enrolled in the course.

  • Get Questions Answered

    If you run into questions during the course, you can send us an email at