Is this you?
You care deeply about maintaining connection with those you love and taking responsibility for the impact your actions have on others. You also want to be able to dialogue about what others do that don’t meet needs for you.
You want the confidence that any rupture in a relationship can be addressed and repaired.
You value the transformation and deepening of connection that comes from being able to repair effectively.
What is it all about?
When you learn the skills of relationship repair, you can remain equanimous in times of disconnect. You trust that you can find your way back to connection in the face of hurt and anger. Relationship repair builds confidence that your relationships can weather the most difficult of times.
Relationship repair means coming back together after an experience of disconnect and unmet needs. It requires the intention to connect and take responsibility for your behavior by naming what didn’t work, offering empathy, and making a plan to do something differently next time.
Relationship repair is most effective when you take care of reactivity before you begin the dialogue. Repair dialogue is a likely place for blame, shame, and defensiveness. By working with reactivity in specific ways before you initiate repair, you can maintain focus on connection, empathy, and honesty. Repair can then become an opportunity to build trust and to learn how to move forward in new ways.
Read more about relationship repair here.
- Distinguish effective repair from common tragic strategies for repair
- Engage an effective strategy for working with the four alarms before beginning repair dialogue
- When you notice the impulses or behavior that involve defending, justifying, or making others wrong/bad, call a pause to engage your anchor
- Maintain focus on feelings and needs related to the specific stated neutral observation of the behavior that didn’t meet needs
- Express caring and associated feelings like regret, warmth, etc. when your behavior doesn’t meet needs
- Commit to new specific and doable actions to prevent disconnect in future similar situations
How it Works
For each class we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation. I will present a particular concept and skill. Then you will practice the skill in a short structured exercise. You will hear questions and comments from previous participants both clarifying the material and debriefing exercises.
You will follow along with the video (60-90 minutes) and your handout. Some exercises you can do on your own and some are best done with another person.
As you take the course you can ask questions via email: firstname.lastname@example.org
While you are taking the course, you can also book a discounted session with an MCD Companion for one-on-one live support.
Thank you so much for your participation and dedicating your time and energy to this important work.
About Mindful Compassionate Dialogue
Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD) naturally supports you in creating the relationships you want by integrating the wisdom and skills of three powerful modalities: Hakomi, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and mindfulness.
Each modality contributes something unique to the process. Hakomi offers clarity about reactivity and healing. NVC provides a method for achieving self-responsibility, skillful communication, and agency. And mindfulness adds the stable attention and clear focus needed to continuously refine your understanding and skills.
MCD is a system meant to provide access to agency, compassion, mindfulness, and wisdom. Personal transformation is achieved through practice with the12 Relationship Competencies and Nine Foundations, which arise from a central, life-serving intention.
Welcome! Download and Print this Handout for the Course
Getting the Most Out of Your Pre-Recorded Course
Relationship Repair: Mindful Compassionate Dialogue Relationship Competency 10