Is this you?

You value conscious compassionate relationships yet find yourself getting caught in your own reactivity and that of others. You would like to unhook yourself from reactivity and stand up for what you value and need with confidence. 

You know that reactivity interferes with your ability to access the skills you have learned and practiced in the past. You recognize that turning towards your experience of reactivity requires vulnerability and the ability to be present with uncomfortable feelings. You trust that the group structure we offer and your own resources will allow you to meet this challenge.

What is it all about?

Recognizing reactivity means freedom. The moment you can recognize that reactivity has appeared, you can be free from its grip on you. In addition, when you learn to track reactivity in yourself, you can more easily recognize it in others. This means you can take effective action to prevent misunderstandings and arguments.

Reactivity is defined as the misperception of threat to one or more needs. It can be recognized by at least three main characteristics:

  1. A change in physiology, such as heart rate or breathing
  2.  A stuckness or narrowing of view
  3. A loss of access to creativity, skills, broad perspective, wisdom, and compassion

Recognizing reactivity means becoming familiar with the many signs and symptoms that it is present. When you fully know reactivity, it can’t take over. You get to choose speech and actions that truly serve you and others.

In this workshop, you will practice recognizing reactivity before it takes over, intervening with reactivity to find groundedness, identifying the needs underneath reactivity, and finding specific doable actions or requests in the moment.

  1. Identify the signs of reactivity the moment it arises.

  2. Acknowledge that the causes for reactivity are internal and name what that looks like for you: Where you put your attention, thoughts, limiting beliefs, decisions, posture, behavior, etc.

  3. Identify your own “tender needs”* and potential healing experiences related to these needs.

You can find many articles on reactivity here.

How it Works 

For each class we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation. I will present a particular concept and skill. Then you will practice the skill in a short structured exercise. You will hear questions and comments from previous participants both clarifying the material and debriefing exercises.

You will follow along with the video (60-90 minutes) and your handout. Some exercises you can do on your own and some are best done with another person.

As you take the course you can ask questions via email:

While you are taking the course, you can also book a discounted session with an MCD Companion for one-on-one live support.

Thank you so much for your participation and dedicating your time and energy to this important work.

About Mindful Compassionate Dialogue

Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD) naturally supports you in creating the relationships you want by integrating the wisdom and skills of three powerful modalities: Hakomi, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and mindfulness.

Each modality contributes something unique to the process. Hakomi offers clarity about reactivity and healing. NVC provides a method for achieving self-responsibility, skillful communication, and agency. And mindfulness adds the stable attention and clear focus needed to continuously refine your understanding and skills.

MCD is a system meant to provide access to agency, compassion, mindfulness, and wisdom. Personal transformation is achieved through practice with the12 Relationship Competencies and Nine Foundations, which arise from a central, life-serving intention.

Course curriculum

  • 1


    • Welcome! Download and Print this Handout for the Course

    • Getting the Most Out of Your Pre-Recorded Course

  • 2

    Learn to Recognize Reactivity: Mindful Compassionate Dialogue Relationship Competency 5

    • Workshop Video

Be supported in your learning

  • Learning Schedule

    You will have access to the course for a full week in order to support your engagement with the material.

  • Get Questions Answered

    If you run into questions during the course, you can send us an email at

  • Live One-on-One Connection

    Private sessions with Wise Heart's MCD Companions are offered to you at a discount while you are enrolled in the course.