Is this you?

You have been practicing Mindful Compassionate Dialogue or Nonviolent Communication long enough to know that it’s not easy to put into practice. You value the consciousness, principles, and skills and would like to trust that you can reliably communicate in accordance with them. You are especially interested in how to engage in collaborative dialogue that doesn’t get derailed by reactivity and is connecting and creative.

You want to be able to manage reactivity in yourself and meet it in others while you stay in dialogue. You are ready to learn how to stay grounded and connected in dialogue. You are ready to learn the nuanced awareness and subtle skills of Needs-based dialogue.

You recognize that learning Needs-based dialogue requires vulnerability and the ability to be present with uncomfortable feelings.  You trust that the group structure we offer and your own resources will allow you to meet these challenges in our class series.

What is it all about?

Mindful Compassionate Dialogue naturally supports you in creating the relationships you want by integrating the wisdom and skills of three powerful modalities:  Hakomi, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Mindfulness.

Hakomi offers clarity about reactivity and healing, NVC offers a means for self-responsibility, skillful communication, and agency, and Mindfulness adds the stable attention and the clear focus needed to continuously refine your understanding and skills.

MCD is a system meant to provide access to agency, compassion, and wisdom through transformation and practice with 12 Relationship Competencies, nine foundations, and the intention to connect. Needs-based negotiation is the 7th relationship competency.

Learning needs-based negotiation will give you a sense of ease and creativity as you face the most difficult situations in life. You will be able to enter into challenging dialogues with a confidence that all needs can be honored.


There are three key distinctions that make needs-based negotiation different from other forms of negotiation. 


First, in needs-based negotiation, the quality of connection is the top priority. We trust that when there is a particular quality of connection, collaboration and creativity become accessible.


Second, when the aliveness of needs/values in the present moment inform the process, we find truly effective strategies, solutions, and agreements.


Lastly, needs-based negotiation is inclusive. It rests on a confidence that each person can be equally honored and respected.

 

Overview of the Series: 

In this series, you will practice the six skills of Needs-based negotiation:

  1.  Articulate the difference between needs based negotiation and other common forms of negotiation

  2. Identify and communicate three ways to set up a dialogue for success:  state intention, offer reassurance, plan for safety

  3. State observations, thoughts, feelings and needs in less than two minutes before asking for a reflection back from the other person.

  4. Begin brainstorming requests when there is a clear sense of shared caring and honor of each other’s needs

  5. Engage creative brainstorming by restating the needs present for all and then making a list of possible strategies / actions to meet those needs without evaluating, agreeing or disagreeing with any ideas

  6. Choose 1-3 strategies from the brainstorm list and refine into specific and doable agreements.  

Course curriculum

  • 1

    Welcome!

    • Welcome! Download and Print this Handout for the Course

    • Getting the Most Out of Your Pre-Recorded Course

    • Links to Connection Gems Related to Needs-based Negotiation
  • 2

    Week 1 - Introduction to Skill 1: Articulate the difference between needs-based negotiation and other forms of negotiation, Introduction to Key Points in Dialogue

    • Week 1 Video
  • 3

    Week 2 - Introduction to Skill 2: Identify and communicate three ways to set up a dialogue for success, Demonstration dialogue

    • Week 2 Video
  • 4

    Week 3 - Introduction to Skill 3: State observations, thoughts, feelings, and needs in less than two minutes before ask for a reflection back from the other person, Common ways dialogue gets derailed

    • Week 3 Video
  • 5

    Week 4 - Introduction to Skill 4: Begin brainstorming requests when there is a clear sense of shared caring and honor of each other's needs, Signs of connection and reactivity

    • Week 4 Video
  • 6

    Week 5 - Introduction to Skill 5: Engage in creative brainstorming by restating the needs present for all and then making a list of possible strategies or actions to meet those needs without evaluating, agreeing, or disagreeing; Dialogue redirects

    • Week 5 Video
  • 7

    Week 6 - Introduction to Skill 6: Choose 1-3 strategies from the brainstorm list and refine into specific and doable agreements; How to respond to “Don’t NVC me!”; Demonstration dialogue: Authority figure

    • Week 6 Video - Part 1 of 2

    • Week 6 Video - Part 2 of 2
  • 8

    Week 7 - Demonstration dialogue: Meeting Criticism, Evaluating Agreements

    • Week 7 Video
  • 9

    Week 8 - Negotiation when mistrust is present, Understanding Requests, Demonstration dialogue: Negotiation when the other refuses to hear you

    • Week 8 Video

Be supported in your learning

  • Weekly Reminders

    Each week, you will get an email reminder encouraging you to login and complete content for the course. You have the option to manage this feature.

  • Learning Schedule

    If you get behind, you have eight extra weeks to catch up. This format helps support you in your commitment to stay engaged throughout the duration of the course.

  • Live One-on-One Connection

    Private sessions with Wise Heart's MCD Companions are offered to you at a discount while you are enrolled in the course.

  • Get Questions Answered

    If you run into questions during the course, you can send us an email at [email protected]