Is this you?

You and your partner would like better communication. Finding the words to say how you feel and what's important to you can be difficult. You would like to express yourself honestly and openly and for that to lead to understanding, connection, and conflict resolution. You also know that listening in a way that your partner feels heard is central to a fulfilling relationship.

This course will be helpful if you both want to make a change and acknowledge that each of you are doing things that aren't working.

Doing the course together will communicates that the relationship is important enough to take the time. The content and exercises help with being seen/heard in a way that builds trust and contributes to healing. The course gives you a way to meet old issues in a new way. Or, for new relationships helps to build a solid foundation for a thriving relationship.

This course is a fit for any couple that has enough connection and commitment to share vulnerably, learn and practice new skills, and maintain a weekly 60 - 90 minute time of your own choosing to participate in the course.

What's it all about?

You and your partner would like better communication. Finding the words to say how you feel and what's important to you can be difficult. You would like to express yourself honestly and openly and for that to lead to understanding, connection, and conflict resolution. You also know that listening in a way that your partner feels heard is central to a fulfilling relationship.

This course will be helpful if you both want to make a change and acknowledge that each of you are doing things that aren't working.

Doing the course together will communicates that the relationship is important enough to take the time. The content and exercises help with being seen/heard in a way that builds trust and contributes to healing. The course gives you a way to meet old issues in a new way. Or, for new relationships helps to build a solid foundation for a thriving relationship.

This course is a fit for any couple that has enough connection and commitment to share vulnerably, learn and practice new skills, and maintain a weekly 60 - 90 minute time of your own choosing to participate in the course.

Creating a Shared Language: Better Communication for Couples is a comprehensive course that couples can access online and complete at home on their own schedule. The entire course is is 28 weeks long and organized around 12 Relationship competencies:

1. Appreciation 7.  Needs Based Negotiation
2. Empathy 8. Life Serving Boundaries
3. Honest Expression 9. Thriving & Resiliency
4. Self Empathy 10. Relationship Repair
5. Recognizing Reactivity
 11. Emotional Security
6. Managing Reactivity
 12. Healthy Differentiation

Each competency is defined and practiced through six skills that make up that competency. Each skill is defined in specific and doable terms so that you can be clear about whether you are using it or not. For each skill you will engage in a short exercise to help you understand and practice that skill. 

This seven-week introductory curriculum is Part 1 of the course and focuses on the first three competencies: Appreciation, Empathy, Honest Expression. 

Completion of Part 1 is required before completing the remainder of the course, as it provides you with an introduction to the framework of MCD, as well as key terminology and concepts.

Each competency requires a subtle level of self-awareness and attunement to others, as well as specific skills practice. These first three competencies in Part 1 not only greatly improve communication, they also support the cultivation of the remaining nine competencies. Read more about the first three competencies.

“Connection and new insight with one another brought more intimacy and love.”

“I had never heard about the idea of words that sound like feelings but aren't really feelings before. It was incredibly eye-opening to express myself through my true feelings and needs rather than what I think of as feelings.”

“Encouraged us to communicate our appreciations. Improves our confidence in the relationship.”

“We're both really excited about sharing our celebrations and difficulties. I feel like this will add more positivity to our lives.”

“We were particularly appreciative of how the brief and concise information in the videos helped us to stay focused on what was being presented. it was easy for me to pay attention to just the essence of the topics you present without being overwhelmed with too much content and material at one time.”

“We were able to discuss and find solutions to difficulties in our relationship”

“I truly loved learning about what is and isn't empathy—and I can't wait to start making empathy my default response in addition to what I naturally do to help others."

“We were able to appreciate each other in ways that we were not aware we were supporting the other.”

“We were able to identify empathy and how to use it together to hear what the other is expressing.”

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Start learning this powerful framework from the comfort of your home.

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How it works

  • Learning Schedule

    If you get behind, you have seven extra weeks to catch up. This format helps support you and your partner in your commitment to stay engaged throughout the duration of the course.

  • Weekly Reminders

    Each week, you will get an email reminder encouraging you to login and complete content for the course. You have the option to manage this feature.

  • Demonstrations

    Each week has three activities with demonstrations to help you get started in applying these skills in your relationship right away.

  • Live Connection

    Private sessions with Wise Heart's MCD Companions are offered to you at a discount while you are enrolled in the course.

Part 1 Curriculum

  • 1

    Welcome!

    • Welcome!

    • Introducing LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    • Introducing Kakumyo Lowe-Chardé

    • Getting the Most out of This Course

    • Check Point: Three Things to Remember

    • Pre-Course Survey

    • Course Handouts
  • 2

    Week 1: Appreciation

    • Benefits of Appreciation

    • Check Point: Benefits of Appreciation

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Express the definition and purpose of appreciation

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Notice and express what’s working using a neutral observation, feeling, and need

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: Receive appreciation by offering empathy for the other’s experience

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3
  • 3

    Week 2: Appreciation

    • Benefits of Appreciation

    • Check Point: Benefits of Appreciation

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Express appreciation in the following formats verbally: positive feedback, qualities, identity

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Name the differences between appreciation and what’s often confused with appreciation like ego building, manipulation, and praise

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: Offer appreciation five times as often as you express unmet needs or complaints

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3
  • 4

    Week 3: Empathy for Others

    • Benefits of Empathy for Others

    • Check Point: Benefits of Empathy for Others

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Identify the differences between empathy and other responses to difficulty

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Identify what prevents you from offering empathy

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: When your partner shares a difficulty make empathy your default response

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3
  • 5

    Week 4: Empathy for Others

    • Benefits of Empathy for Others

    • Check Point: Benefits of Empathy for Others

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Identify 12 essential aspects of empathy

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Empathy for Celebration: Offer empathy guesses for needs met

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: Empathy for difficulty: offer empathy for unmet needs

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3
  • 6

    Week 5: Honest Expression

    • Benefits of Honest Expression

    • Check Point: Benefits of Honest Expression

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Ask your partner if they are willing to listen before engaging in honest expression

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Distinguish neutral observations from types of thoughts (interpretations, advice, story, predictions, explanations, justification…) by naming them as you express them.

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: Use feeling words to express feelings rather than interpretive words

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3

    • 5 Elements couples workbook
  • 7

    Week 6: Honest Expression

    • Benefits of Honest Expression

    • Check Point: Honest Expression

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Communicate feelings as connected to needs rather than another’s action

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Identify the difference between universal needs and the strategies to meet them

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: Communicate specific doable requests using six aspects of a request

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3
  • 8

    Week 7: Integration

    • Benefits of Integration

    • Check Point: Benefits of Integration

    • Mindfulness

    • Objective 1: Practice calling a pause & anchoring

    • Check Point: Objective 1

    • Activity 1

    • Objective 2: Identify the key aspects of effective dialogue

    • Check Point: Objective 2

    • Activity 2

    • Objective 3: Commit to one way you will continue practicing, both as individuals and as a couple

    • Check Point: Objective 3

    • Activity 3

    • Post-Course Survey
  • 9

    Optional Course Feedback

    • Option Feedback Survey for Part 1

What you get

  • 7 weeks of content

  • Access to the content for 14 weeks When you buy this course, you have access for 14 weeks. If you prefer more more time to take the course, our membership may be a better fit for you.

  • Comprehensive reference handouts that you can keep

Flexible payment options

You can pay in full, or opt to pay three installments.

Save when you buy together

  • 12 x $89.00

    12 x $89.00Creating a Shared Language: Better Communication for Couples

    Save over $100 when you buy all four parts together
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