Topics for the series:

Introduction & Thriving

We will begin by naming and defining the foundational elements that make self-empathy practice accessible. These elements are:

• Mindfulness: This means having a “you” that can step back from your experience and notice what’s happening with gentleness and lovingness.

• Understanding your experience: From the realm of Hakomi you learn about the flow and nature of inner experience regarding healing, managing reactivity, and thriving in your life.

• Skills from Compassionate Communication: 

  • Learn and practice an inner dialogue structure. 

  • Learn to name feelings, and needs, and make specific requests. 

Giving and Receiving Empathy for Reactive "Selves"

You will engage in a particular approach to reactivity.  I will guide you in an experiential exercise to help reveal your subtle patterns of reactivity. You will practice meeting your experience with mindfulness and then translating reactivity into feelings, needs, and requests.

I will model self-empathy and also help you see how to go into relationship with a particular reactive self.  

Empathy for Shame, Guilt, Anger, and Depression/Shut Down

We will practice an empathic relationship to shame, guilt, anger, and depression,  as well as learn about the complexity behind each of these four reactive feelings. Shame and Guilt are important alarm feelings and we will spend the class studying and practicing with them. Each one indicates that a certain kind of thinking is happening for you.  

Specifically, with shame, you are having some version of a thought that you are a bad person.  

With guilt you are having some version of a thought that you should or shouldn't have behaved in a particular way.   

In addition to indicating of a certain type of thinking, anger also typically occurs at particular stages in healing and grief work. We will talk about how anger fits into these as well as how it manifests as a reactive state.

We will also study the dimensions of experience (thought, behavior, body, energy, etc.) that promote depression/shut down. You will have an opportunity to practice meeting these reactive states with self-empathy. Shame, guilt, anger, and depression, only arise in relationship to a cherished need or value, so it's essential to be able to turn towards these feelings and connect with the life giving energy underneath.

Facing Others' Reactivity

We will now turn our attention toward external situations that trigger reactivity and how to stay connected to yourself in those difficult situations. We will start by naming common triggers. In addition to the self-empathy skills you have been practicing, I will demonstrate some ways that make it easier to access those skills when someone is in front of you and you feel pressure to respond.

Appreciation/Celebration and Responding to the Inner Committee

An important part of creating a consistent compassionate inner dialogue is the practice of noticing when needs are met. This means giving as much reflection and attention to yourself when you are thriving as when you are struggling. You will practice three different formats for appreciating and celebrating yourself.

At the end of the class, we will do a closing circle and talk about next steps in your practice.

Do you need to know more before deciding whether to join or not? I am happy to talk with you! Please email LaShelle at [email protected]