Is this you?

You value conscious compassionate relationships yet find yourself getting caught in your own reactivity and that of others. You would like to unhook yourself from reactivity and stand up for what you value and need with confidence. 

You know that reactivity interferes with your ability to access the skills you have learned and practiced in the past. You recognize that turning towards your experience of reactivity requires vulnerability and the ability to be present with uncomfortable feelings. You trust that the group structure we offer and your own resources will allow you to do some of this difficult work in our workshop.

What is it all about?

In this four week online series you will practice recognizing reactivity before it takes over, intervening with reactivity to find groundedness, identifying the needs underneath reactivity, and finding specific doable actions or requests in the moment.

How it works

For each class we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation. I will present a particular concept and skill. Then you will practice the skill in a short structured exercise. You will hear questions and comments from previous participants both clarifying the material and debriefing exercises.

You will follow along with the video (60-90 minutes) and your handout. Some exercises you can do on your own and some are best done with another person.

As you take the course you can ask questions via email:

Thank you so much for your participation and dedicating your time and energy to this important work.

Topics for the Series: 

Working with reactivity means engaging in at least two primary Relationship Competencies: # 5 - Recognizing Reactivity, and #6 - Managing Reactivity. For each of these competencies there are six main skills to learn and practice. For our series, we will focus on three skills for each competency:

Recognize Reactivity

  1. Identify the signs of reactivity the moment it arises.

  2. Acknowledge that the causes for reactivity are internal and name what that looks like for you: Where you put your attention, thoughts, limiting beliefs, decisions, posture, behavior, etc.

  3. Identify your own “tender needs” and potential healing experiences related to these needs.

Manage Reactivity

  1. Practice with regulation strategies and anchoring

  2. Shift to empathy or self-empathy the moment reactivity is identified

  3. Differentiate between constructive feedback and blame or criticism

Course curriculum

  • 1


    • Welcome! Download and Print this Handouts for the Course

    • Getting the Most Out of Your Pre-Recorded Course

  • 2

    Week 1 - Introduction to Regulation, Introduction to tender needs and nourishment barriers

    • Week 1 Video

  • 3

    Week 2 - Introduction to Nourishment Barriers, Introduction to the Expansive Network, Contemplation exercise

    • Week 2 Video

  • 4

    Week 3 - Introduction to Anchors, Living and Speaking from the Expansive Perspective

    • Week 3 Video

  • 5

    Week 4 - Introduction to the 4 Alarms, Introduction to Anger, Anger - Grief process, Healing responses and empathy for shut down

    • Week 4 Video

Be supported in your learning

  • Weekly Reminders

    Each week, you will get an email reminder encouraging you to login and complete content for the course. You have the option to manage this feature.

  • Learning Schedule

    If you get behind, you have four extra weeks to catch up. This format helps support you in your commitment to stay engaged throughout the duration of the course.

  • Live One-on-One Connection

    Private sessions with Wise Heart's MCD Companions are offered to you at a discount while you are enrolled in the course.

  • Get Questions Answered

    If you run into questions during the course, you can send us an email at