Is this you?

You and your partner would like better communication and less reactivity. You want to build a strong foundation for an honest and compassionate relationship. Finding the words to say how you feel and what's important to you can be difficult. You would like to express yourself honestly and openly, and for that to lead to understanding, connection, and conflict resolution. You also know that listening in a way that your partner feels heard is central to your relationship. 

You know, too, that being in an intimate relationship isn’t about merging with your partner or defending autonomy. You want be fully who you are while letting your partner be fully who they are; you understand that it takes two whole and authentic people to create a fulfilling relationship.

This means having awareness and skill regarding various aspects of relationship.  Effective communication is the foundation for accessing understanding and skill with reactivity, negotiation, boundaries, thriving, resiliency, repair, and secure differentiation.

This course is a fit for any couple that has the connection and commitment to share vulnerably, learn and practice new skills, and maintain a weekly 60 - 90 minute time of your own choosing to participate in the course. 

What is it all about?

Creating a Shared Language: Better Communication for Couples  is a comprehensive course that couples can access online and complete at home on their own schedule. The entire course is is 28 weeks long and organized around 12 Relationship competencies:

1. Appreciation 7.  Needs Based Negotiation
2. Empathy 8. Life Serving Boundaries
3. Honest Expression 9. Thriving & Resiliency
4. Self Empathy 10. Relationship Repair
5. Recognizing Reactivity 11. Emotional Security
6. Managing Reactivity 12. Healthy Differentiation

Each competency is defined and practiced through six skills that make up that competency. Each skill is defined in specific and doable terms so that you can be clear about whether you are using it or not. For each skill you will engage in a short exercise to help you understand and practice that skill. 

Each competency requires a subtle level of self-awareness and attunement to others, as well as specific skills practice. Read more about the 12 competencies.

What they're saying

"Connection and new insight with one another brought more intimacy and love."

"The videos and exercises stimulated some deep conversations that was definitely connecting and clarifying. We were particularly appreciative of how the brief and concise information in the videos helped us to stay focused on what was being presented."

"We were able to appreciate each other in ways that we were not aware we were supporting the other."

"Perspective shift of not just viewing boundaries from the "no" but also illuminating the yes!"

"Intentionally working with boundaries changes everything!"

"I truly loved learning about what is and isn't empathy—and I can't wait to start making empathy my default response in addition to what I naturally do to help others."

"I appreciated having the chance to slow down and check in with myself during the mindfulness and other activities."

"Working with my partner to understand how to communicate when they are experiencing reactivity improved our ability to connect even in when we are in a reactive state."

Join us

Start learning this powerful framework from the comfort of your home.

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How it works

  • Learning Schedule

    Each week you will receive access to the content for the week. If you get behind, you have an extra seven weeks to catch up. This format helps support you and your partner in your commitment to stay engaged throughout the duration of the course.

  • Weekly Reminders

    Each week, you will get an email reminder encouraging you to login and complete content for the course.

  • Demonstrations

    Each week has three activities with demonstrations to help you get started in applying these skills in your relationship right away.

  • 28 weeks of content

  • Access to the content for 56 weeks

  • Comprehensive reference handouts that you can keep

  • Savings of over $100 when you buy all four parts together